Breaking News: Studies Show Relationships Take WORK!!!

So, drinking and smoking weed (and even seeking other women) behind your wife's back are more important than your family? You claim that you want to change, that you want help, and that despite those statements, you "can't change overnight".... All I'm hearing is a bunch of empty words that, oddly enough, I've heard before.

No, I'm not the wife of this particular story. I'm not now, nor have I ever been, married. However, I have heard these things before, when I was with... someone. It seems this is a fairly common tale these days, and it's not getting better. Why is it that about half of today's marriages end in divorce?

Sadly, I don't have the answer, but I do have a theory. I blame people's expectations. We expect our partners to fulfill a role that provides us with an infinite state of drug-like euphoria, much like that of when we first fell in love with them. Yes, love is grand when it's new - we're high on life, and our partners can "do no wrong". Even their biggest flaws are candy coated by our fresh feelings of infatuation. I know, because I've been there. But then, a few months later, the fairy tale feelings wear off and we're left with the truth: our partners are humans after all. No longer angels in our eyes, we begin to see them as they actually are, imperfect and sometimes absolutely annoying.

Now, back when life was not so convenient and people actually had to work for things (and the internet didn't provide people with endless outlets for their sexual desires), relationships were a commitment to WORK for that love. Work, meaning one sacrificing for the other and vice versa. Work, meaning communicating honestly even when honesty was a tough pill to swallow. Work... meaning when life got tough (as it does from time to time), people stuck together, because they knew that running from their problems was downright chickenshit.

The modern-day couple looks a tad different. The husband farts in bed a little too much, so the wife suddenly isn't attracted to him and therefore won't put out, which leads her man to find lovin' on Colfax Avenue. Or, in another house down the street, the husband can't give up his party lifestyle even though the drinking and the drugs daily endanger his family. His wife sacrifices her career, stays with him and fights to see him get well for nearly four years, all to no avail. He complains that she is unfairly trying to dominate his life, and that he can't stand being treated so harshly by her.

Say whaaaat?!

Am I on glue, or does anyone else see what I'm talking about here? One wife expects her husband to be Prince Charming - always chivalrous and gentlemanly. Sorry, lady, it ain't gonna happen. If he loves you, if he is always honest with you, and if he does his best to treat you like his queen, get over the bodily functions (because, let's face it, you do it too) and stand by your man!

In the other scenario, the husband expects his wife to take care of the house and take no issue with his "fun", regardless of the potential consequences. He sees her protest as a violation of his manhood, and basically throws a temper tantrum when she calls him out on his behavior. Sorry, dude, but when you're an old man looking back on your life, what's going to be more important: the number of drinks you had and blunts you smoked, or the wife who stood by you (even when you didn't deserve it) and the beautiful children she gave you?    

For the rest of you out there who maybe don't fit these stories, think about those significant others in your life and ask yourself, "Am I really working as hard as I can in this relationship? Is my partner working as hard as they can?" Before you give up on something, give it a little effort.

Just some food for thought.

Baby-proof THIS!

Ok, so.... a few of us were contemplating the universe earlier, and the subject came up about baby-proofing one's house. Making the household "safe" is a huge issue for many parents these days. But... safe from what? Safe from household chemicals, electrical outlets, unstable appliances, sharp corners and edges, and MOST importantly, GERMS.

Now, let's think about all of this for a moment, shall we?

...Good. Thinking accomplished. I've decided that from now on, I'm going to wrap my children in tissue paper and bubble wrap (of course leaving their faces exposed so they can breathe), cover everything with a sharp edge in bubble wrap, plug up any and all electrical outlets with those plastic covers, hide away every appliance, and keep all chemicals securely locked away. Then, I will simply allow my children to run amok, because anything they could have gotten into has been dealt with - thus eliminating my need to be a parent.

And, since the outside world has NOT been properly baby-proofed, I'll just... I'll just never let my children leave the house! Never! Because it's not SAFE! I mean, they could get hurt!! After all, the human race didn't make it this far without baby-proofing! Er, wait....

COME ON NOW, REALLY?!

Parents out there reading this, are you really that daft that you think your children need you to constantly protect and shelter them from the many perils of the bathroom and kitchen? Are you so ridiculously ignorant to think you're actually helping them?

Listen, folks, children need to skin their knees every now and then. Some of my fondest memories from childhood were when my parents weren't always supervising me; and yes, a few of those times, I got a boo boo or two! I climbed apple trees, roller-skated down hills, fell down rock fields while hiking, got cactus in my ass, fractured my shin playing soccer, blah, blah, blah, etc. Guess what, though, this is the crazy part: I'M STILL ALIVE - and I have countless fantastic memories that taught me a lot about how fun and adventurous life can be. That is to say, I have countless memories that have nothing to do with video games or dealing drugs or being a spoiled little brat who never got to go outside.

It's interesting how much control we think we have over our children, when really the only thing we're controlling is their ability to learn and make healthy choices. Give your kids some credit, they're really not as dumb as you think they are! If you tell them no, and explain why you're saying no, they will listen! Sometimes they will mess up, but that's ok. Discipline comes from learning the hard way sometimes. We can't protect them from anything, truly. So, we must teach our children. Through knowledge they gain understanding, which, over time, becomes wisdom.

I know times are tough and the world is a bit scary, but shielding the eyes of the future generations only breeds blindness and ignorance. Be honest with your kids. Be REAL with your kids. Tell them, "the world can be rough, and it challenges us to be strong," ...and then trust that they are strong.

Better than baby-proofing is allowing our kids the fair chance to be prepared for what may come.

It's a mad, mad world.

Our society is suffering... the question is, from what?

Friday, July 20, 2012, a mass shooting was committed at an Aurora, Colorado movie multiplex. Twelve were killed, and some fifty or so (the number varies from network to newspaper) were injured. One man, one seriously deranged man, simply walked into the theater and opened fire.

Why? What could have possibly been going through his mind, since he knew none of these people, and therefore could not have had a real motive.... unless he was just that starved for attention.

And now, I find myself wondering why I'm even concerned about any possible motive or reason behind this attack. The fact is, this person's actions are a direct reflection on our diseased society. What's the matter with everyone?? Are we being so sheltered and stifled that our frustrations just build and build until one day, some of us snap? I mean seriously, what the hell is going on?

The world is incredibly overpopulated, the majority of us don't hunt for our food anymore, and a great number of us are fat and obsessed with our modern conveniences. I think the problem is not that we are somehow deprived of something - it's that we are handed too much. We are spoiled, whiny brats, and when we don't get our way, we throw a tantrum. Some people sue companies for not putting a label on a cup of coffee that says, "HOT".... Others shoot up a cinema, why? Because they're getting kicked out of grad school? Sorry if this stings, but... STOP MAKING YOUR STUPIDITY SOMEONE ELSE'S PROBLEM!  

When I was young, my parents taught me that my actions had a consequence. And, if I decided to misbehave, those consequences were MY fault - and mine alone. Apparently, this young man's parents didn't quite get that message across to him. Some of you out there might be thinking, "Sadie, you're starting to sound a little harsh.... you have no idea what his parents did to raise him." True, I'm only assuming something of which I have no idea. But somewhere along the lines, this man had an opportunity to learn his lessons, and he obviously ignored the chance. What's more, he threw a hissy fit because he didn't like the consequences that HE BROUGHT ON HIMSELF, and his bitch fit ended up ruining a lot of lives. Dude, get your shit straight: whatever you did to make your own life go downhill is NOT a motive to kill people.

I want to take a moment to apologize for my profanity, but I must add that, in case you didn't realize, this is a very touchy subject on everyone's mind. If you don't find yourself upset about this senseless tragedy, you must be a very cold individual.

That is all. For now.

Everyone wants to change the world...

...But maybe it's fine the way it is.

When people want their voices heard, they speak louder. Have you ever stood in a crowded, loud room, and while everyone else is having a conversation with someone, you attempt to drown out the noise with your own voice? The first couple of tries, no one hears you, and so they go on talking, blissfully unaware that you had something to say. You try louder the next time, straining your vocal chords so much that it hurts your throat. But hey, that time, everyone hears you.

What does this say about the crowd? What does it say about you and your tenacious desire to be heard over the din? Could you have tried another way to reach the same audience?

Most of the time, yelling over the noise is simply obnoxious. This of course depends on what one wished to say. For example, it would not be obnoxious if the one shouting was trying to alert the gathering of a fire. On the contrary, I'm pretty sure everyone would be grateful for that set of strained vocal chords. But what about yelling over the "noise" in our current political setting?

If you have brothers and/or sisters, raise your hand. Do you remember the arguments you used to have with your sibling(s), and, at times, how out of hand they were? You'd try yelling, then the other(s) would sense your competitive spirit, and in retaliation they would yell louder. How close would that bring you to solving the issue at hand? My guess is not very.

Now, place a group of politicians trying to change the world on a stage, and you might as well have a mirror image of that same fight between the young siblings. Each of them has something to say these days, and each with a different, and louder, approach than before.

Well, to be completely honest, I'm beginning to tune them out. I just don't care anymore what any of them have to say. The yelling has morphed into white noise, and suddenly silence is more appealing than anyone's high-decible revolution.

If the end of the world is truly on its way, if global warming is going to kill us all in a matter of decades, and if all household germs really do carry the plague, then I guess I'd just rather go out with a bit of peace, concession, and quiet.

So, this election season, I choose to read a book in the mountains, far away from the polls and voting booths. The rest of the world can have its change. I'm happy with my life, just the way it is.

Social Etiquette

You can't please everyone all the time, but does it hurt to try?

No, I am not talking about brown-nosing the board members or agreeing to have "relations" with that creep you met at the bar simply because you'd feel badly for rejecting him. Have a little self-esteem, now, really. No, what I am trying to get at is something it seems people rarely discuss anymore in this modern world.

When I venture out into the world, I try to put on my "best face" - i.e., I am not the only person in the world, and therefore a certain amount of courtesy for my fellow man (or woman, duh) should naturally be exercised. Obviously I'm not always on target. Often times I find it difficult to be polite when someone is blatantly crossing the line of decency. But human nature aside, isn't it important to attempt good manners, especially in the face of rudeness?

I would wager it is very important. I am no wealthy aristocrat, and I certainly have never attended finishing school. I do not presume to know what I am talking about when it comes to having good manners. However, the fast-paced, convenient world of today (to me) seems starved of integrity, and it might not be such a crazy idea to take a few leaves (literally) out of Emily Post's book (as a side note, if you don't know who Ms. Post was, I'd recommend looking her up).

It may seem silly to reform our lives with such trivial things as chewing with the mouth closed or holding the door for an arthritic old woman. And in fact one could argue that etiquette differs from culture to culture, so why even bother when your manners are someone else's annoyance? Just throw caution to the wind and let that 90-year-old bat get the door herself! Every man for himself, right?

But... what if you were the 90-year-old? And, when having guests to dinner, isn't it more pleasant when the main noise at the table is conversation, not the smacking of mashed potatoes against someone's molars? Don't you find it nice when, cultural differences aside, someone takes the time to honor you with their good behavior (even if it's a different version than your's)?

So perhaps consider this: when you feel the urge to argue a ridiculous point (and you know it really doesn't matter), or when you would rather tell the clerk off for charging you extra on your purchase, or even when you think it's hilarious to share your bodily functions with the world... perhaps it just creates unnecessary conflict (not to mention it can be painfully embarrassing to observe someone acting out of line at a social function)... and perhaps you would also like others to behave more politely in your favor. Why not make an effort for them first?

Let's initiate the etiquette revolution. We all know how to say "please" and "thank you", and we generally like it when others say those two phrases to us; so for crying out loud, take a stride toward putting some finesse in your daily interactions!

Thank you for reading today's rant. I realize it may have come off as an arrogant statement from someone who really isn't qualified to tell others how to behave... but I meant it more as a plea for perhaps improving even just a small part of our quality of life.

Salutations

Hello, and welcome to the first post of my new online blog.

Some of what I say here may generate conflict, while other posts will just be for the creative hell-of-it. I shall try not to offend, but this does not mean I necessarily follow what's considered "P.C." in the modern world. Furthermore, my definition of "manners" and "etiquette" may be far different from your's. However, I would ask that you please respect my individuality and freedom of speech, as I will try my best to do the same for you.

Thank you once again, and happy reading.